Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Willow and Spike
Summary: What happens when one of you could die?
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with `Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. The show and characters belong to Joss Whedon. The song `Years from Now' belongs to Dr. Hook.
Spoilers: None really
Feedback: Yes please!
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`Years from now
I'll want you years from now
And I will hold you years from now
As I love you tonight . . .'
Willow sat in the chair she had pulled close to the bed and watched as her lover slept. It had been almost five years since their night in Giles' apartment. The next night they had gone back to the Watcher's and she had told her friends of the feelings she had for Spike.
Xander had been the first one to respond. "Will, are you sure? I mean think of what you are doing here. Do you really want to be tied to him for the rest of your life? Think about who he is. It's not like he can be anything more than a demon. I just wonder if you have thought this through."
Willow had to smiled. Xander always saw things the way he wanted. He never thought about how things came out of his mouth. Only that they made sense to him. Willow took a deep breath and calmly said, "Xand, you have been my best friend for all of my life and I love you, but you have to understand that I supported you when you started seeing Anya and I didn't really want to."
Anya was the next to speak up. "She has got a point. Besides, Spike is a tasty bit of meat."
"Anya!" Xander turned shocked eyes to his girlfriend. "How can you side with her? I mean, he is a member of the walking dead!"
"True, but I was a demon for a long time and you don't mind that," she defended.
"That is different. You are NOT a demon now. He is!" Xander shot back.
Anya shot him a dirty look. "Okay, let's try this differently. If you don't understand Willow's choice to be with Spike, I am going to play hide-and-go-seek with little Xander and his two friends if you know what I mean."
Xander just stared at her for a second like he wasn't sure if she was joking or not. When her expression didn't change he hung his head in defeat. "Welcome to the family, Spike," he mumbled with as much sarcasm as he could manage.
Spike couldn't help himself; he had tried not to, but in the end his demon took great joy in walking over to the boy and jerking him into a hug. "Thanks moron, you will never know how happy it makes me to a part of your family."
Anya and Willow both saw the emotionally pained look on Xander as Spike squeezed him a little harder then he had to.
Giles was the next to address the topic. "Willow are you sure?"
Willow turned to face Giles as Spike returned to her side. "Yes Giles. You have no idea how long this has been in the making. I have had a crush on Spike for a very long time."
Spike couldn't believe his ears. She had a crush on him. He wondered for how long. He was so lost in the time line trying to figure out when the crush could have started that he didn't even hear what Giles' response was to what Willow had said.
It wasn't until the slayer spoke up that he returned his attention to what was being said in the room.
"You're kidding me right? You think he is in love with you? This is just another ploy to pull us apart. He doesn't love you." Buffy said without a shadow doubt in her voice. "Besides, even if he does care about you now, what do you think will happen when you get older or if Dru ever comes back?"
"Well Buffy, just like with any relationship only time will tell. I can't say what will happen between Spike and I a year from now any more than I could have guessed that a she-wolf would have torn Oz and I apart. Now, you can understand my relationship with Spike just like I understood yours with Angel or you can hate me for this and lose a friend. It is your choice."
It had taken a while, but Buffy had finally given in and had ignored Spike. She never became his friend, but it had become obvious to the slayer that Willow was serious about her relationship with Spike and so she had kept her distance.
Willow was pulled from her thoughts as Spike rolled over in bed and hissed as his chip fired again. She knew time was running out. His chip had started malfunctioning a little over a week ago. It had started with a simple misfire when he was fighting a demon. At first they thought that maybe the demon was only part demon, and that was why the chip had fired. But then, after the fight, he had been walking up the steps to Giles' apartment when Spike fell to his knees as pain shot through his head. Willow was at his side in an instant, worry etched in her face. She knew that something was wrong.
Then, as the week wore on, it was misfiring more and more frequently. She was now worried that the shocks to his brain were going to do more damage than his vampire constitution would be able to heal. At first, he had acted like it was nothing he couldn't handle. The redhead knew it was because he didn't want her to worry, but now he couldn't get out of bed. The shocks had grown stronger and more frequent as the week went on.
To be honest, she had thought that if something like this was going to happen it would have been when they tore down the Initiative. But now, five years later, it was malfunctioning to the point that he was weakened and unable to fight the effects anymore.
Willow was so afraid that she would lose him to the chip. That this little bit of nothing would be what tore them apart. They had made it over too many hurdles and trials, but now it seemed that in the end it would be the chip that did them in. After they had made it past demons and master vampires hell bent on destroying the slayer and everyone that helped her, it seemed obscene that this would be their end.
Angel was in L.A. trying to find someone who could help remove the chip. He had come to understand Willow and Spike's relationship when he had seen the amount of emotion that lay between them. It also helped that the redhead had threatened his life as Angel. She couldn't help herself; he hadn't acted like he cared when she had first told him about what was happening to his childe. Angel had even gone so far as to tell her that maybe she would be better off without Spike. The brunette vampire told her that there was no guarantee that Spike would be the same after all the shocks to his brain; after all, there was only so much that even a vampire could take. And he of all vampires would know Spike's limits.
It had pissed the redheaded witch off and she had made a threat that she wasn't sure if she would be able to carry out, but if he didn't help her she would do what she could to make the words she had spoken in anger come true. She would take Angel's soul and make sure that Angelus went after all of the ones the soul held dear. She had to save Spike and she would stop at nothing to make that happen. She wouldn't and couldn't lose him. He was just too much a part of her life now.
"Willow?"
Willow shook her thoughts from her head and turned her attention back to her lover. "Yes?"
"What were you thinking so intently about?" he asked as he raised himself up in the bed.
"You," she smiled at him.
Spike patted the bed next to him and Willow moved from her chair, which rested next to the bed, to the spot he had indicated. Resting her head against his shoulder, and he pulled her closer to him. He was going to miss this. He would miss the way she warmed him to his very core just by laying next to him. The feel of her skin as he gently caressed her with his cool fingers. He wished that he knew if he had the time to make love to her one more time, but with the way the chip was firing here and there he was afraid that it would ruin the moment.
"Spike, what if we could get the chip out? I mean, you are still you now and if we could get the chip out we could still have each other and the life that we were meant to have."
"Luv, I can feel the damage it is causing inside of my head. Every time is fires I feel like I am losing a little bit more of myself. Soon there won't be much of me left. I am getting weaker and weaker. I know you don't want to give up hope that things will all work out in the end, but the more of my mind that gets shocked, the more memories I am losing. I can remember the last few years of being with you and loving you, but things in the first 75 years of my existence are fading fast. I mean, I know that I should still hate my sire for leaving me, I just can't remember why."
He could smell her tears as he spoke, but he wanted to tell her so much more, and this wasn't the ending he thought they would have. He had always been sure he would watch her grow old and slip from his grasp because the chip would keep him from turning her. He never thought he would die due to the chip. Fucking chunk of plastic. If only . . .
Willow felt him stiffen, quickly drying her eyes with her shirt sleeve and turned to look at him. She was afraid it was another shock from the chip. She was relieved to see that he was only angry with the way things were working out for them. It was sad, but nowadays she feared the chip more than anything else.
Spike was aware of her eyes on him and he looked at her and smiled. "Do you know how much I love you? I mean, do you really know how much I love you?"
Willow felt the tears resurface in her eyes and wanted to let them spill forth, but held them back and smiled at him. "Yes, as much as I love you." And she leaned forward and kissed his lips softly.
`You are my one true friend
Always my one true friend
And I will love you til I say
As I love you tonight . . .'
"I understand more than you know. And I want you to understand something too. We have got years ahead of us. I don't want you to give up on us. . ."
He looked down. He felt like she was living in a dream world if she thought there was a way to fix what was happening to him. He didn't want to, but he should have seen this coming. He was finally in a place in his life where he was whole and happy. He should have known that it wouldn't last.
Willow grabbed his face in her hands and turned his eyes back up to meet hers. "I mean it, Spike. Don't give up on me; I will find away to make this work. I won't live without you, because I can't love without you. We will get the chip out!" Her voice held all the promise of her words.
Spike reached up and cupped her face just as the most powerful misfire yet shook his body. Willow felt the shock run through him as it hit her fingertips, causing her to pull her hands away from his face, fearing for her own safety. He jerked backward. It was like watching an execution. His body shuddered and seized with the power of a hundred bolts of electricity. She tried to hold back her tears, but couldn't when it seemed like hours til his body stilled and fell back against the bed. Willow scambled backwards as she felt her fingertips start to burn. She didn't know what to do she just sat on the edge of the bed starring at him. Then the phone rang.
"Hello," Willow said with a heart full of sadness.
"Willow?" Giles asked. "Is he getting worse?" He knew there could be no other reason for her emotional state other then Spike's condition worsening.
"Yes, the misfires are lasting longer and getting stronger. I felt this one Giles. It ran through his body and singed my fingers." Her tears where running down her face as she told Giles of what had happened.
Giles felt his heart break as the girl he thought of as a daughter told him of what was going on. He had checked with everyone he knew and nothing had turned up about what was happening with Spike's chip. Giles would have thought it was for the best that Spike remained chipped, but as he listened to the girl on the other end of the phone he knew that if Spike was lost, they would also lose Willow. She was in such an emotional state as it was that he feared that if she lost the blonde vampire it would only be a matter of time until they lost her as well. He remembered all too well how Willow had handled the loss of Oz. He knew this would be so much worse for her.
"Willow, I need to make a phone call or two and then I will be over. Just hold tight and I will be there to help you make Spike more comfortable."
"Okay, I will be here," she said as she hung up the phone and turned back to her lover.
`I know this world that we live in can be
hard now and then
And it will be again
Many times we've been down
Still love has kept us together
The flame never dies
When I look into your eyes
The future I see . . .'
Giles arrived shortly after he had talked with Willow on the phone. He had made a call to one souled vampire only to be surprised to find that Angel had already left to come to Sunnydale. It was soon after Giles had forced Willow to eat that the doorbell rang. He had excused himself from the table to find Angel and a brunette girl standing at the door.
"Come in Angel," Willow said from behind Giles.
Angel and the girl walked in carrying two black cases. "Willow, Giles, I would like for you meet Fred. She thinks that she may be able to disable Spike's chip."
"Angel," Giles warned as Willow's face lit up with hope.
"I mean it. I was in the middle of talking this over with Fred and Wesley when Spike opened the bond between he and I. I felt his last misfire."
"What do you mean you felt it?" Willow asked.
"He lost control and the bond opened and I felt his pain, and yours. I can only assume that you were touching him when it happened. Either way, I think if we work fast we can fix what is happening. Why don't you show Fred to his room so she can get started."
"Follow me," Willow said as she headed down the hall to her and Spike's bedroom. She opened the door and let Fred in. "You have to leave the lights off. They started to bother his eyes yesterday. And be careful if you touch him. The shocks are strong enough now that you get shocked too." Willow left the door open to give Fred enough light to work by.
"You don't have to stay. I can come get you when I know something." The brunette had never seen such a haunted look in someone's eyes before. Fred briefly wondered if that was what she looked like when Angel brought her back from Pylea.
Willow turned and went to the door. "I will be out in the front room, if you need anything just holler." With that Willow left the room. She didn't care to watch, she just wanted her Spike back. She didn't care what the future brought. She just knew that her life would no longer be hers if she lost him.
Willow went back to the front room and sat down on the couch. Giles walked over and sat down next to her.
"It is going to be alright. We have hope now. And Xander called to see how things were. I told him I would call if I had any news, but that he and Anya might want to stay home for now."
Willow nodded her understanding and Angel knelt in front of her as the doorbell rang and Giles got up to answer it.
Angel took Willow's hands in his. "I want you to know that what you said to me on the phone had nothing to do with this. It was what I felt through the bond that brought me here. He loves you so much."
"I know," was all Willow could say.
"Angel, what are you doing here?" Buffy asked from behind.
"I am here to help Spike," he said as he turned to face her.
"Why? There isn't anything we can do. We have tried."
"I know that you think you have tried, but I brought someone with me that thinks there is a way to end this," Angle said.
"End this or fix him?" Buffy asked.
"Both. She can stop the chip and I can fix him."
"How?" Both Willow and Buffy said at the same time. He knew what they wanted to know, how he could fix Spike.
"I will stay and give him my blood. Sire's blood will heal anything," Angel said.
"What?" Willow asked again. "Sire's blood will heal anything? Yesterday you told me there was nothing you could do. Why did you lie to me?" She stood quickly and was in Angel's face in an instant. Angel took a step back as he felt Willow's magic begin to swril in the air around her. She was an emotional wreck, she couldn't even control her own magic. "How could you do that to me? How could you let me think that I was going to lose him?" Willow's body was shaking with rage.
Buffy knew this was not good, Willow was on emotional overload as it was and now to add Angel and his hesitance to it. She was afraid that it was just enough to send Willow over the edge. So she moved to her friend's side, pulling her back from Angel and moving her to the kitchen.
Once the girls were gone, Giles turned to Angel. "You don't understand; we all hated them being together too. I wanted so much more for Willow, but once I saw them together in the everyday I knew that she would love no other. That only became more apparent when he started to get sick. Remember the way you felt about Buffy in the very beginning. You of all people should have known better than to tell her that you knew something and weren't going to help just because you thought you were right and she was wrong."
"I am here now," Angel said quickly and turned his back on Giles and walked down the hall to check on Fred.
`I know this world that we live in can be
hard now and then
And it will be again
Many times we've been down
Still love has kept us together
The flame never dies
When I look into your eyes
The future I see . . .'
It had been several hours since Fred had disappeared into the bedroom with Spike. When she finally came out she had a long look on her face.
"It's done. I deactivated the chip. Spike is resting and Angel asked me to tell you to wait for him to call you before you come in to be with Spike. He wants to give Spike some of his blood first. He suffered three more shocks before I could get the chip shut down and we are not sure what effect that had on him. Besides, it will take a little while before the effects of Angel's blood will take hold."
Willow started to cry. She felt relief flood her body as the news sank into her exhausted mind. It was almost over and she would have her friend and lover back. Buffy wrapped her arms around her friend and let her cry as she rocked her and whispered in her ear.
"Fred, did you and Angel bring any blood with you? If he is feeding Spike he will need some," Giles asked.
"Yes, that it is what was in the other case," she said as she sat down in one of the chairs.
"Good, would you like something to eat or drink?" Giles asked.
Fred looked over at Willow and decided that it might not hurt to leave the two girls alone and go with Giles. "Yes, that would be nice. Thank you."
"Follow me," he said as he walked toward the kitchen and Fred followed.
Once inside of the kitchen, Giles asked what he had been wondering since Angel had stormed off into the bedroom. "Is Spike going to be alright?"
"Angel says yes. Spike took to Angel' s blood like a baby to a breast. I have never seen anything like it."
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
A little while later Angel staggered out of the bedroom as he rolled down his sleeve. "Willow, he is asking for you," was all he got out of his mouth before Willow rushed past him and into the bedroom. She couldn't wait to see him. She pushed open the door and there he was, lying in the middle of the bed propped up on the pillows. He looked better already. And she couldn't be happier. He looked up at her and smiled.
"Hey luv," he said as he leered at her.
Willow felt her heart stop. She never thought she would be this happy to see him look at her like that again. Spike almost wanted to laugh at the look on her face. There was surprise, relief, desire, love, and all of the other things he thought he would never see again.
Willow climbed onto the bed so gently you would have thought the bed was made of glass, and in it way it was. She could only hope that when she reached the end of the bed that he was there. There and ready to share the rest of their years together. She had prayed so hard to any god or goddess that would listen to her not to take him, to give her another chance with him, to love him. And now that the moment was here she only hopped that it was forever this time.
Spike watched her come toward him with all the hope in the world. Everything that happened with his chip had its toll on her. He could tell by the lines on her face that this was no longer the girl that he had fallen in love with, but the woman that he would love for all the years to come.
Willow touched his face and he smiled. Reaching out he pulled her to him and kissed her lips so softly it felt like the flutter a spring breeze. She pulled back and looked at him. Really looked at him.
"I love you. I never want to be that close to losing you ever again!" Her eyes filled with tears. "Never do you hear me?"
He nodded as he settled her next to his side. "I wish you hadn't taken the chip out."
Willow looked at him with confusion. "What?"
"I agree with you. I never want to come that close again either. I just wish you had left the chip active, because now I will turn you when the time comes. There is nothing holding me back anymore," he said as he looked into her eyes. He wanted to make sure she understood what he was saying.
"Yeah, I know," she knew that he was telling the truth. There had been many times when they had made love that she felt him bury his face in her neck. He wanted to bite her but the chip had always held him back. Now there was nothing restraning him and she would have it no other way.
She leaned in and kissed him with all the love she had for him. If he wanted to turn her, she would accept that when the time came. After everything they had been through the last week it would be okay when the time came. When he did turn her it wouldn't be to hurt her or her friends. It would be because he was in the same shoes she had just walked in this last week and just couldn't let her go anymore than she could have let him go.
THE END!!